Top Ten Things I have said to My Son While Potty Training

20160624_154352

Potty training is a journey into the unknown, for you and your child. While potty training, you will find yourself trying to be a good teacher by: motivating, encouraging, and making this natural experience fun.  Don’t get me wrong, potty training isn’t fun, but you have to pretend it is, for your child’s sake. Even though potty training isn’t as fun as eating ice cream or jumping into a pit of foam, it can be quite hilarious. There have been many of times where I have had to hold back my laughter while I (gently) correct my son on where his pee and poop goes. He has taken a liking to going into the closet, closing the door, and peeing…on the floor. I have had more pee on me while potty training than I ever did when he was a newborn. And nothing I mean, NOTHING is funnier than a naked baby running around the house laughing their little butts off.

Here are the top ten things I have found myself saying to my son, over and over again, since we started our potty exploration.

  1. Pee goes in the potty, not on mommy’s leg. But seriously, we have been reading books (on many occasions) RIGHT NEXT TO THE POTTY and all of a sudden I feel pee sliding down my leg.
  2. You can’t flush until you get off the potty. He also tries to flush the toilet while I am still sitting on the toilet.
  3. Stop touching your pee while you are going potty. I can only assume this is normal, but really kid, stop touching your pee.
  4. Get your hands out of your butt. I know, it is really exciting to have open access to down there, but that doesn’t mean you have to sit around scratching it whenever you feel like it.
  5. Do not throw the dog’s carrot treat into your potty. I have already had to tell the dog that the potty wasn’t a new water bowl.
  6. Stop playing with yourself on the potty. It is impossible to pee and play with yourself at the same time. Or at least, I think it is, I am not a boy.
  7. Dogs pee outside, big boys pee in their potty. I just feel like referring to the dog as our son’s brother has confused him during this whole potty training adventure.
  8. You have to stop sitting on your potty to read and go to bed. I love that my son loves to read. And I love the fact that telling him I will read him a specific book will get him to at least go into the bathroom. With that being said, we are not going to read five books on the potty, then five more in the bedroom before bed, you sneaky little child.
  9. It is okay to make noises while you poop. We have only had two poops on the potty so far. One of which I grunted (with him) while reading Are You My Mother? I seriously can’t make this stuff up. The things we do for our children. FYI that poop was huge and I was one proud mom.
  10. You can’t get completely naked every time you have to go to the bathroom. I think I have one of those kids that believe the only way you can go to the bathroom is to be naked. Oh, public restrooms, you are the new devil.

And the fun has only just begun!

Book Review: Daughters of the Bride by Susan Mallery

bride

After losing their father at a very young age, Rachel, Sienna, and Courtney are more than happy to see their mother remarry. Courtney, the youngest of the three sisters, is practically planning the entire wedding while her family thinks she is just a hotel maid. Sienna, the middle sister, is stuck in another questionable relationship. Rachael, the oldest sister, has been divorced for two years after her husband cheated on her. Set in Los Lobos, California, four women find love in more than one way.

Susan Mallery has done it again. She has made me fall in love with fictional characters that I wish were my sisters. Daughters of the Bride, Susan Mallery’s newest , stand-alone novel is a hit. I can only hope that it goes from a stand-alone novel to a series because I need to find out what happens next for these wonderful women. Susan Mallery has a unique way of writing each and every character in her novels, even the non-human characters. She makes you feel a connection with each of them,which isn’t always easy when it comes to writing about multiple people in such detail.

Courtney, the youngest, is  a motivation. After dropping out of high school, moving away from her family, and working at a burger joint, she decides to turn her life around and surprise her family with the outcome. I just love a good underdog story. Her love interest, Quinn, made me swoon. The romance scenes were hot. Let’s just leave it at that. I think it is pretty cool that she lives and works at a hotel.

Sienna’s story is really interesting. Shortly after the novel begins, she accepts her third engagement; the first two fell apart for various reasons and she isn’t sure about this one, either.  Sienna is a hard worker and loves her job. Her most recent fiance is a bit of a jerk with a crazy mother. A reoccurring theme in Daughters of the Bride focuses on how Sienna is the middle sister and feels left out more often than not. Middle Sister Wines are mentioned several times throughout the book. I kept hoping they were real because their names are so quirky and fun. After doing a quick Google search, I found out they are not just fictional wines but a real winery in California. I am now kind of obsessed with them and plan on going buy some.  Wouldn’t it be great if the book came with a wine coupon?

Rachael is a single mother to an 11 year old boy. Her story broke my heart; I just felt so bad for her over and over again. Rachael is a stubborn character. She is a lot like me actually. She hates to ask for help because she thinks she can do everything by herself instead of trusting other people to do something the “right” way.  I really never understood her back issue, though. It was kind of thrown in there and never completely explained. I guess it has to do with the fact that she is on her feet all of the time because she is a hairdresser. I was most satisfied with her ending.

Maggie, the girl’s mother, is planning a fabulous pink wedding to her second husband, Neil. Her ideas are outrageous and hilarious. It made me want to plan my wedding all over again. I mean, every wedding needs kazoos and pink swans in a chlorinated pool, right?

Here’s to wishing for another installment of Daughters of the Bride. Until then, I’ll just buy a few bottles of Middle Sister Wines and think of all of the fond memories I made by reading Susan Mallery’s enchanting story of finding true love.

I was given a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. 

Book Review: The Bourbon Thief by Tiffany Reisz

thiefThe Bourbon Thief by Tiffany Reisz is pure perfection. This jaw-dropping, juicy novel will keep surprising you from start to finish. I didn’t know what to expect from The Bourbon Thief. To be honest, I probably wouldn’t have read it if it weren’t for the fact that I was just in Kentucky a few weeks ago. I’m so glad the Maker’s Mark tour sparked an interest in bourbon for me (not the taste, just the history and process). If it weren’t for that tour, I wouldn’t have given this book a second thought. With all that aside, I’m so glad I gave this book a chance. Bourbon lovers (and haters) will enjoy this piece of literary fiction.

Tamara Maddox is a spoiled, rich girl who is set to inherit Red Thread, a multi- million dollar bourbon distillery, once her grandfather dies. Since her own father, and uncle, have died, she is next in line to continue on the Maddox tradition of making and selling top notch bourbon in Lexington, Kentucky, and all around the world. Tamara likes to ride her horse Kermit, and flirt with Levi, the hired help that tends to the horses. Levi happens to be quite a bit older than Tamara and is off limits, but  that doesn’t stop her from trying to get a Birthday kiss from him.

It is said that the Maddox family is cursed. Paris, who just “happens” to stumble into Cooper McQueen’s bar, was born and raised in Kentucky. After seducing him and going home to his large estate, Paris finds herself in the presence of the last bottle of Red Thread. Paris tells Cooper a tale that not many people know. All the lies, secrets, and love between the Maddox family pulls Cooper into a story that he will never forget.

The tale of Tamara Maddox is so shocking that you won’t be able to put it down. Just when I thought there couldn’t possibly be any more surprises, Tiffany Reisz threw another insane twist into the mix. I can’t describe my feelings of horror throughout this entire book. I just can’t imagine one family having so many deep, dark secrets, it is unbelievable.  I kept telling my husband, “This book is really starting to get good!” I probably said that to him ten times because it just kept getting better and better. I’ll warn you, there are some steamy parts in the novel. At first, I thought it was going to be a dirty romance novel, but there are only a few portions that get hot and heavy.

You really will learn a lot about Bourbon from this novel. After reading it, I wish I could enjoy the taste, but alas, I’m still not a fan. I’m am, however, a fan on Tiffany Reisz. Check out her newest novel, The Bourbon Thief, it is a summer must-read. Right off the bat, you will be consumed by a narrative that will hopefully makes your own family history seem a little less crazy.

I was given a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.