Let’s start off by talking about how the first hour of the show was just The Bachelor red carpet and how this whole “Bachelor Nation” thing has gotten out of control. I really don’t understand how they can say watch the season premiere “live.” The show was taped months ago. That’s not live, it’s not even close to live. The first hour was just a waste of time and the whole countdown to the first limo arrival was a bit extreme. I did enjoy the cameo from Cody, because he is hilarious, and I was also happy to see that Marcus and Lacy are currently planning their wedding. I was confused when Lacy said that the were 80/40 when it came to choosing a date. I guess she meant 80/20? Maybe it’s just a term I never heard of, or maybe she isn’t all that great with speaking live on TV just like Nikki Ferrell.
Nikki Ferrell, the winner of Juan Pablo’s season, is anything but a winner. I think her interview was supposed to be the highlight of the whole hour, but it was kind of a dud. She really doesn’t interview well and repeated the same thing over and over again. Obviously, you and your man weren’t on the same page, or even the same book, Juan Pablo couldn’t even say he loved you in public! Andi Dorfman is probably thanking her lucky stars that that relationship didn’t work out for her. Speaking of relationships that didn’t work out: How awkward is it that Andi is supporting her another one of her ex-boyfriends as he finds a new wife? Doesn’t her fiance, Josh, think it’s weird when Chris Harrison asks her questions about Chris Soules? I was even uncomfortable during that part.
There were 30 eligible bachelorettes last night. I thought it was hilarious when Chris Harrison tried to make it seem like there were only 15. Then, OUT OF NOWHERE, three more limos arrived! It was a shocker….not. Chris Harrison said no one saw it coming. If by no one, he means everyone, well then yes, no one saw that coming.
I am smitten by Chris. If I wasn’t married, I would have applied for this season. Seriously, I would have been the girl with the karaoke machine. Her dress was right out of Barbie’s closet and I loved it. Then again, I don’t think I would fit in in Iowa. I wouldn’t be much help on the farm but I would enjoy participating in the county fair’s pie eating contests.
Back to the bachelorettes. I kind of love Britt (so does Chris Soules, apparently, since they made out only hours after meeting), Whitney (they both make babies for a living, that’s destiny, right?), and Kelsey (the 28 year old widow who is trying to bring happiness back into her life.) I’m pretty sure everyone (including Chris Harrison and ABC) are rooting for these three considering they were featured in the first (boring) hour of the premiere. Also, along with everyone else in America, I’m questioning why Chris Soules gave a rose to Tara (drink much?), Mackenzie (even though her kid is cute, her dress was not), and Ashley S. (because really, it doesn’t get any weirder than her….ever.) I know they keep people on the show for the drama, but this is a bit much. I just really thought Ashley S. was dunzo. She reminds me of Lucy from the last Bachelor season, it’s only a matter of time before she is walking around the mansion naked.
I really hope Chris Soules finds true love. He seems overwhelmed by all of the women; he really does seem sincere and focused on finding his future wife. I just hope ALL of these women are willing to move to Iowa. Is Jillian really willing to give up her high profile news producer job in D.C. to play Susie homemaker? Of course, I hold a special place in my heart for the two women from NJ, Ashley I. and Alissa. Their jobs seem easy enough to give up, so maybe there is hope for them.
I didn’t watch the season previews at the end of the episode because I don’t like spoilers. Plus, I was tired after watching almost 3 hours of Bachelor shenanigans. Therefore, until next week, I will just keep thinking about crazy Kimberly and how she couldn’t grasp that no means no. I can’t understand how these women fall in love with Chris in one night and then get so sad when they don’t get a rose. (Okay, so I knew I was going to marry my husband the night I met him. But that was real life, not reality TV.) They have to know that they can’t all marry Chris Soules. Even though he may turn into the first Bachelor Polygamist (he said it himself, I can’t make this stuff up.) Is that legal in Iowa? Maybe he’ll just move to Nevada and live in the same cul-de-sac as Kody Brown and his sister wives. I smell a new TLC spin off hosted by Chris Harrison.