I Wanted a Girl

Its a boyNo one ever admits that they want a girl or a boy.  While I was pregnant people would constantly ask me if I had a preference. I would always answer (just like most people do) that I just wanted the baby to healthy; ten fingers, ten toes, you know the drill. What I was really wanted to say was, “I just want the baby to be a healthy girl.”

One year ago, we found out Emerald (which is what we started calling Baby M before we knew the sex) was a boy. We really couldn’t continue to call a baby boy Emerald, which then lead to the nickname Baby M. Let me clarify that we were never naming our child, if he was a she, Emerald. We had girl names picked out and I so desperately wanted to use one.

When we found out Emerald was a boy, my husband looked at me and asked if I was disappointed. Of course I said no, but I was secretly devastated on the inside. We excitedly told everyone we were having a boy by posting pictures and making phone calls, but I was holding back tears because I really, really wanted a girl. I wanted to dress her up in puffy dresses that she couldn’t move in, with tights and Mary Janes. I wanted her to wear ridiculously big bows and pierce her ears as soon as I could.

Every time we went back for another ultra sound I would ask the technician if Baby M was still a boy. They would say yes, and I would smile and say, “Good.” I kept having dreams that we were still having a girl. I was convinced that we were going to be a part of one of those crazy stories. The ones where a newborn girl ends up wearing tons of blue clothes for the first few months of their life because her parents were told she was a he.

Then Jimmie was born. And he was real. He really wasn’t a she. And of course I loved him because he was mine, but until that very moment, I was still holding onto an ounce of hope that everyone was wrong except me. One day, I looked at him and he looked at me, and I thought to myself, “Thank God you’re a boy.” Jimmie is everything I never knew I always wanted. And I know that is so cliche to say, but it’s true. I always wanted to be a mom. But I always wanted to be a mom to a girl. I’m a girl, I know how to be a girl, therefore raising a girl seemed like the way to go. But boy oh boy, Jimmie is such a joy. I can see the love in his eyes when he looks at me. I cry almost every time he laughs. His coy smiles make me want to squeeze him so tight and give him a million kisses. I dread the day when he stops letting me kiss him on the lips or doesn’t want to lay his head on my shoulder anymore. I tear up thinking about giving him away at his wedding and having him love another woman other than me.

Having a little boy is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I didn’t love the idea at first, heck I didn’t even like it. But dressing my little boy up like a little man is even more fun than putting a girl in a dress that she can’t roll around in. Who needs bows when I have cute little gentleman hats and who needs baby Mary Janes when I can just let him wear socks.

I can’t wait to take Jimmie to extra inning baseball games, take him on train rides, and let him play in the dirt. I can’t wait to make mud pies, throw a football around, and read about bugs. I am beyond thrilled to be raising a boy who will turn into a man. I am one lucky momma to one perfect little boy. I wanted a girl, but what God gave me was even better. God gave me the sweetest little boy that was meant to be mine.

Mom and Babe

Jimmie’s First Christmas

Jimmie’s first Christmas was a success. It involved lots of traveling; lots of family; lots of love; and of course, lots of presents. Jimmie’s favorite part of the whole present ordeal was sticking everything new in his mouth, this included wrapping paper and tissue paper. I think the funniest part of the holiday was Jimmie getting upset when someone else had a present to open and he didn’t; spoiled much? He really is a lucky little boy and we are the luckiest parents in the world.

Jimmie was the perfect age for his first Christmas. I can’t wait until next year when he is even more into it. (Although I’m not sure how we will ever have any room for more toys!)

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Next year I will be buying short sleeved Christmas shirts; this kid gets so hot! Jimmie had his cute Christmas outfits on both days and he ended up in his onsies halfway through the party. I thought short sleeved Christmas onsies were ridiculous, but I sure do wish I had some this year!

Hope your Christmas was as magical as ours was. Bring on the New Year! We’re ready!

Friday Five

1. Next week is Christmas. Are you ready? I finished all of my shopping yesterday. It was such a relief. Now I have to start baking cookies. I’m feeling overwhelmed by the cookie making.

2. Norman Bridwell, the author/illustrator of Clifford the Big Red Dog, died on Wednesday at the age of 86. Clifford made his big debut in 1963. He was featured in over 40 stories with two more to come next year. What a sad, sad day for Clifford fans. May he rest in peace.

3. Jimmie is really starting to enjoy eating solids (finally!) We were off to a good start, then he started only eating a few bites a day. Now he is up to a bowl of oatmeal in the morning and a container of either fruits or veggies in the afternoon. He also had his first taste of table food the other day, mash potatoes. He wanted more, for sure!

4. Jim came home from Arizona late Friday night. We put up our tree the next day. This was the first year we had a normal size tree. Our “first” tree (which was for our second Christmas) was tiny. Last year, we didn’t have a tree because we moved in 2 weeks before Christmas. This year, we found our awesome tree at a yard sale for only $10, right before Jimmie was born. I told Jim this can be the “kids” tree when Jimmie grows up because we are going to have multiple trees (hah yea right! I hate taking decorations down from one tree, let alone more than one tree!)

5. I have become obsessed with Christmas books this year. My parents always gave me a Christmas book each year and I hope to do the same for Jimmie. I bought him two this year: The Poky Little Puppy’s First Christmas and an Elmo Christmas book that I found at the Target Dollar Spot. I have also been reading all of my old Christmas books to him. My favorite is The Christmas Tree That Grew. We may have to add Clifford’s Christmas to our collection this year too, in honor of Norman Bridwell.

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Jimmie doesn’t have a Clifford stuffed animal. Horton decided to fill in.

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Ode to My Coffee: A Mommy Who Just Misses Her Morning Brew

Ode to My Coffee

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Oh, coffee.

I used to drink you as soon as I woke up.

I’d sit there and sip

and sip

and sip.

Now, you mock me.

I scoop you into the pot

Add water

and you brew.

I can hear you laughing

and laughing

and laughing.

Then you start to smell oh so good.

You know there are many miles to go

Before I can sit and drink you.

You know how tired I am

But you laugh all the same.

There are many things that must be done

Before I can savor you.

The baby’s bottle needs to be made.

Then his oatmeal needs to be mixed.

Bottles need to be washed

and dishes need to be put away.

The dog needs to be let out

and fed.

Then it’s time to get the baby up.

Change the baby’s diaper.

Feed the baby oatmeal.

(and you know that is no easy task.)

Here comes the airplane.

Where is my coffee?

Which is really what I’m thinking.

As an airplane comes and goes

For what seems like a million times.

Feed the baby his bottle.

Burp the baby.

Then, finally, you’re mine.

All mine.

Ahhhh

Sweet, sweet coffee.

Then the baby spits up

and it’s back to mommy mode.

Goodbye coffee.

See you soon.

Happy Seven Months, Jimmie!

It’s already December? Jimmie is SEVEN months? That is only five months away from one, people. OH MY GOODNESS!

Favorites: Bouncing in his Baby Einstein exersaucer,  standing with assistance, and eating oatmeal.

Weight: Didn’t have a check up this month, but Jimmie seems to keep getting chunkier. I love it! He is in mainly 9 month clothing.

Firsts this month: First solid foods! During his sixth month of life Jimmie tried: rice cereal, oatmeal, green beans, bananas, apples, sweet potatoes, and squash. Jimmie also sat on his own this month and figured out how to bounce in his bouncer. His first Thanksgiving happened this month too! Busy, busy baby!

Nightly sleep schedule:  There were 17 days of sleep regression. I chalk it up to six month shots, the six month sleep regression, and moving him from place to place these past few months. On the eve of his seventh month, Jimmie slept through the night again. Alleluia!

Favorite toy: Little Tykes Melody Piano and baby links (not this brand but something similar)

Hardest moment of the month: Sleep regression! He didn’t even wake up that much when he was a newborn. It was rough!

Best moment of the month: Spending so much time with family and friends and seeing Jimmie interact with them.

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Rosie’s Favorite Quotes: An Abundance of Katherines by John Green

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Prodigies can very quickly learn what other people have figured out; geniuses discover that which no one has ever previously discovered.Prodigies learn; geniuses do. Pg. 10

What is the point of being alive if you don’t at least try to do something remarkable? How very odd, to believe God gave you life, and yet not think that life asks more of you than watching TV. Pg. 33

He wanted to draw out the moment before the moment – because as good as kissing feels, nothing feels as good as the anticipation of it. Pg. 79

‘…there’s some people in this world who you can just love and love and love no matter what.’ Pg.126

‘But I always wonder about that. If people could see me the way I see myself – if they could live in my memories – wold anyone, anyone, love me?’ Pg.149

Friday Five

1. This week Jimmie had his first taste of oatmeal. He loves it WAY more than rice cereal. What he doesn’t love is bananas. What kid doesn’t love bananas? Mine. We’ll keep trying. He will learn to love them. We are going to try peaches and apples during the next few days.

2. My best friend from Korea, Rosa, came to visit us this week from New York. She is visiting her family in NY for a few months. We have been planning to meet up since I left Korea over a year ago! She finally got to meet Jimmie and see Toby again too. She used to watch Toby a lot for us in Korea. He is quite fond of her. It is so nice to meet forever friends in the Army!

3. Christmas is creeping up on me and I have barely done any shopping. All the little kiddos are done, including Jimmie, but that’s about it. I have to get a move on it before the malls become unbearable.

4. I stumbled upon a great book website, Bookbub, this week. The site compiles cheap daily e-book deals and free e-books. Sign up (with your email address) and start downloading; it’s pretty neat. I can’t wait to add more books to my Kindle and not read them. Hopefully I can start reading on a regular basis soon.

5. Jimmie had his first professional photo shoot at Target the other day with his cousin, Nolan. They both did amazing. The pictures turned out perfect. I could not be any happier with them. I can’t wait to share them on here after the holidays.

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Jimmie and Rosa at my favorite Korean restaurant

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I am infamous for taking blurry photos. You’re welcome.