Book Review: Screw Everyone: Sleeping My Way to Monogamy by Ophira Eisenberg

screw everyone

Screw Everyone: Sleeping My Way to Monogamy by Ophira Eisenberg is a delightfully funny memoir. It is very real life meets Sex and the City. The memoir starts when Ophira is in seventh grade in Calgary, Canada . During this school year she experiences her first boyfriend and her first kiss. As her life progresses, so does her sexual experiences. From her “almost” first time to her actual first time, to the many, many, many times after that.

Ophira doesn’t hide the fact that she has been around the block once or twice, not only in Canada where she grew up, but also in New York where she officially starts her comic career. After she graduates from high school, Ophira decides to take a year-long trip to Australia. She then bounces from one part of Canada to the next trying to figure out what she wants to do with her life. She goes to college, in Quebec, Canada, and receives her degree in Anthropology, all while pining for her older ex-boyfriend and working on her “fieldwork,” which is basically just a fancy word for sleeping with a few more guys so that she could forget about her ex.

After graduating and working many dead-end jobs in Vancouver, Canada, Ophira realizes it’s time to do something drastic and takes a stand up comedian class and an acting class. Finally done with Canada, she moves to New York with only $600 to her name. Along her journey throughout Canada and New York Ophira dates all sorts of guys: a few musicians, a pastry chef, a movie critic, a Garfield enthusiast, and so on and so on. Ophira wasn’t about to settle for just anyone; she even tells her final suitor that she  never, ever wanted to get married.

I saw Ophira Eisenberg on TV a few weeks ago on a late night talk show to promote her book. She did a few minutes of her stand up routine and I was actually laughing out loud, at the gym, on the elliptical. I actually had to look around to see if anyone was near me and could hear me. As I turned back to watch the rest of the segment, I kept repeating the book’s name over and over to myself so that I wouldn’t forget to look it up when I got home. I just had to read it.

Ophira had me laughing on almost every single page; a few times I had to hush myself because my husband had already fallen asleep. The best part of many of the stories was that they actually happened. No one can make this stuff up; she seriously got herself into some hilarious situations. Ophira made her life sound hard, and in reality, everyone’s life is hard; not every day is going to be rainbows and happiness. She made a point to say that growing up is lonely and confusing, which I totally agree with. She also made me think that trying to be a stand-up comedian is harder than becoming a writer. At least as a writer, you don’t have to see your reader’s reactions. As a comedian, you are out there, on the stage, all alone, staring your audience in the face.

I won’t spoil it for anyone, but I loved the end of the book. I’m not going to lie, I teared up a bit a certain sentimental moment. Who would have thought that even a comedian’s memoir could make me cry? I feel like I now know Ophira through her stories and her flat-out honesty. She did not hold anything back. She put herself out there by sharing the most intimate details of her life without any shame what-so-ever and it made me laugh so hard, I even cried.

Laugh your way through life when Ophira Eisenberg’s memoir Screw Everyone: Sleeping My Way to Monogamy hits the shelves on March 26, 2013.

I was given an ARC e-book of this book in return for an honest review.


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